12 Things You Need to Know Before Dating a South African Girl

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If there's one thing that South African girls have, it's sass. But for us, this was not practical. For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: Show Details Necessary HubPages Device ID This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.

I became a journalist and joined the BBC World Service, getting an opportunity to see the globe. They said mixed-race children always had a tough upbringing because they do not have an identity.

Dating

At the height of Apartheid. I grew up under US sanctions and ate my first McDonalds burger at the age of 18 only because I was traveling abroad. But we had high schools that were integrated for the first time when I was in tenth grade. Yes, you heard me right. Our schools were all segregated until the early 90s. I never thought Nelson Mandela was a terrorist. I believed he was a hero. But I never set foot outside my comfort zone either. My life was completely average in all the most spoiled ways. There are some things you never recover from. That is one of them for me. Well she rocked our world in all the best ways. Together they found themselves wading into the deep waters of orphan care in South Africa. And we are a very white family. And while I may have black brothers and sisters I rarely have to walk around in their shoes because I live here, in the US. And then it acts. I think maybe we all are, yes? But this I do know. But I do know what happened last year when a couple in our church shared to our small group that they were feeling desperate and frayed and financially stressed because their delivery business relied on having a car and their only car was broken down. And I remember clearly how the instant reaction from the group was to pray for them. And prayer is necessary. But sometimes what you really need is a loaner car. And in that moment we became a body instead of just a support group. I want to talk about the things that ache in other parts of this body that Christ died for. I want to listen well. And I want to invite your questions and I want to learn. And I especially want to go to the parts of the conversation that might make me or you feel uncomfortable — like do our online gatherings and offline events really reflect the whole body of Christ? Like am I willing to let my life be interrupted regularly by life that looks different from mine? Like am I participating in justice for the orphans in South Africa as well as the kids in the foster care system here in my community? How can I live a cross-cultural life in my suburban, American neighborhood? I love what and are writing about those questions. And after asking I want to get about doing. And really what I most want is to go there together — in a shared car. I live in an area of town that is known for its drugs, its gangs — just a block away is public housing and until this past year you could turn the corner from THAT street onto my street and feel like you were in a different neighbourhood. I felt like it was my mission field — I was plopped in the middle of another culture, another language, another thought process, another lifestyle. The people who have not yet professed that will find Christ in you and want Him for themselves, amazing to join God in that work. I never gave it much thought, which, I know, is your point. I would think that this is a great venue for all people because we are basically invisible. We only get to know each other through our words without any preconceived notions. I wish their were a cure for ignorance and racism but I am afraid we will always suffer people who consider themselves superior to others based only on their origin of birth or color of their skin. It is very sad. I am so glad I am not going there alone…. Lori, Shannan, Deidra, and so many other brave women have helped me along the way. I am so grateful for how God equips us and moves us out of our comfort zone. I hate to say it but the only way the world sees our love is by doing. Love is alway a verb. Love you Lisa-Jo and thank you for going there. But a few weeks ago, in studying Spanish, I crossed paths with a Spanish blogger who is a missionary in the heart of a Venezuelan jungle. She is translating one of my Bible studies from my website into Spanish. THANK YOU for going there! White, southern, suburban girl right here. I was completely unaware of the idea of privilege until grad school. Sad, but so true. And most if can sit in our bubbles and do just that. BUT when we open that door so scary and so great! I used to write a blog on this topic. And has allowed us to part of planting a multicultural multiethnic church in our community. Now I get to talk about these issues ALL THE TIME. And I love it! Like Tonya was saying, issues become very real when they move from the theoretical to the next door. I think until they move next door or across the table, we can live without challenging our prejudices and racist thoughts. So maybe should start practicing now. My only challenge is to not stop too soon or too short of really pushing us, your readers into these issues. Reconciliation only comes through brutal honesty, humility, lavish grace, and forgiveness. And more listening than talking. Be ready for change and move and BIG. By the whispers from the dark telling me I am not worthy. That I am too rough and worn around the edges and my edges, they are sharp and they harm rather than help. You see, I was the blessee for many years as a single momma who struggled through finishing college in my forties with no financial help from their father who walked away. I know what the blessed do to the needy. And it makes me sick! The dream in my heart, the one that is too big for me to even dream at times, is simply to offer a vacation to her and her babes for a few days out of her very hard year. God has lifted me up. Their father still offers no help but God has allowed me a way to take care of us and even allow us to take a vacation every year. A respite, rest, fun, time to connect to these children of mine that will fly from the nest sooner than this momma would like. I want to provide a place for them to stay, food for the week, and gas money to get to and from the destination. I promise you that is a huge blessing to a tired momma. That is what yiu wohld hear if you eavesdropped in my heart. Our family has journeyed into Fostering. For the next generation. Because we felt God calling us to go there. It is a giant of a mess. We will be brave. I discovered your blog and this online network of writers after jumping into this ocean of daily rewards that are mixed with weird blessings and sharp tooth monsters. I cling to many daily life preservers of encouragment that I find here. Please keep writing, keep inspiring, keep us moving. Thank you so much. When you worship beside one another, or eat dinner across from each other, when our children splash in the pool together, when we break bread and join hands, that is when you hear the stories, that is when walls come down. And I want it not just racially but socioeconomically too. I know it starts first with me, with getting out of these comfortable spaces. Thankful to you and Deidra. My daddy told me stories about being present for lynchings when he was three. Sadly, his witnessing something so gruesome did not lift him out of the racial superiority he continued to live for most of his life. I was raised in a home where black people simply were not honored. I think the prejudice gene missed me somehow. I was bullied by dark-skinned girls, but it never occurred to me that they might be after me because I was white. I had friends at school who had dark skin, but I was afraid to tell Daddy about them. I moved from that town to live with my mother the summer after sixth grade. It felt much more like home to me. My daddy died about a year later, but I am glad to say he had begun to see skin color differently in his last few years. When I think of it, I recognize that I have friends of multiple races. I consider us all one race, and while that probably makes me sound idealistic, I guess I am okay with being labeled as one with ideals that transcend societal norms. Because I just plain love people. And my interest is broad! Do we hunt out writers with different life perspectives and have them guest blog? I write when I can, not when I want to. Sometimes I look at the writers I love and feel like I have someplace to get to instead of just being. How DO we change that? Every day, the desire to have everything comfortable ripped to shreds around me grows greater as Jesus works on my heart. I cried this week when I realized that because we were done living on one Midwest salary in the DC area I could actually give away some more money. In one day, I signed up to give away a chunk of our newly expanded income to a variety of works that have been heavy on my heart for months and months — and it felt better than any shopping spree. I was so GLAD. There was just big, warm, teary JOY here. We finally have a new church, one with dual local and global focus on caring for the poor and hurting, and I am so glad to be part of such a place, so excited for the ways I feel God starting to move me away from consumerism and the American Dream and towards Jesus-ism and His Dream, the Kingdom Dream, instead. So — cheering you on, here, and would love, love, love, to come alongside in any way. Like why do we even have to think about the fact that we need to love ALL people? And then I realize that I too was blessed to grow up in a family where the color of the skin and the cultural background was only and always something to be celebrated and explored and sought out. I was just reading Acts 2 to my kids this morning and I read it with a new excitement- that when the Holy Spirit came on them, they spoke in all of the different tongues that were present in Jerusalem at that time. I love that God intimately cares about his people. And we are to follow that example. Oh, and my family has been the recipient of a loaner car from our mutual friend, Bria Wasson! We are to seek out ways that WE can be the answer to prayers! But your post is really encouraging and I am so happy that you are brave enough to be open about what you feel and how you are doing things in your community here and at home. This is a great post, Lisa-Jo, and one I resonate with, but from the white, suburban American experience rather than the South African one. Though I visited SA in the late 60s, and was there when Verwoerd sp? There is some racial mixing in our congregation, but the percentage is tiny. I want to go there, too. Deidra is just the best — and so are you. My mom and Dad and four brothers are all white Caucasians. Part of my childhood was spent in Hawaii, which is part of the United States of America, but in some ways, it might as well be a foreign land, as there are many Asians who live over there. Growing up in a multicultural state, I never experienced ignorance or racism or prejudice. I would that all Christians had had the kind of childhood and exposure to different cultures as I have, but not all have had the privilege or the responsibility of such a heritage. Jesus Loves All of us, and He saw each of us as the same-sinners in need of Him. Please keep talking about this, as other members of our local bodies of Christ need to be reminded. I think it is time that we begin to get out of our comfort zones and really live the Christian life the Bible intended. I do agree that prayer is key, but action speaks louder than words. We must look at the salvation of the whole person. That is so true. We need to do more than just write checks. Here at home…and around the world. That singer was Keith Greene who unfortunately died early in his career. I wonder what he would say to use now 20 years later?? Thank you for raising your voice! I really want to Go There! I want to do something about it. And by prayer I also mean seek God, because then God can lead me, and perhaps help me realize what I can do. I believe that prayer is an army fighting in the world invisible before my bare eye, the spiritual world. The world that is there, the world I can feel at times, but not see. But, I believe it is standing on the sidelines if it is used like an excuse for not doing anything else. I believe it is like that with us humans too. It easier for God to guide us if we go do something, that if we just sit down, continue sitting and waiting for a sign. But I think there is a matter of balance to those. I also agree with what is written in comments before mine, many times changes starts in processes, takes time, and happens in little steps, one by one. There is a woman that is wed in our family, and she is beautiful! I think it makes me insecure about myself, but then again, what is that for a lame excuse? It is stretching me! But I know I need humility to recognize my own prejudices and fears. This means if you have any settings you want to change within the program itself you can make them now so that whenever you open the portable program your preferences will be saved. I have been dating a wonderful Polynesian man I am Caucasian , and it has made me realize the great beauty that diversity brings. It has also made me see some aspects of racism that I have never seen before—growing up in a fairly white community. An excellent, and in-depth look at a lot of issues surrounding race. Would definitely recommend it!

You bring your own meats, or veggies, and drink and then braai together. How DO we change that. I want to go there, too. But, I believe it is standing on the jesus if it is used like an excuse for not doing anything else. But sometimes what you really need is a loaner car. Most relationships that start with sex always end in disasters. Don't have time for traditions. Always Dress Right This is one of those solo yet difficult dating rules that most women manage to mess up. I want to talk about the things that ache in other parts of this body that Christ died for. Afrikaans tends to be a favourite because the words are very similar to Dutch and come out rather social and rough.